if i had a hammer

i'd wake up my neighbors

pounding out a rhythm

all about you



if i had a pencil

i'd push me some paper

i'd build a skyscraper

to get close to you



if i had a lasso

i'd sail out the window

and land on an island

next to you



if i had a hot rod

i'd fasten up my seatbelt

and break the speed limit

gettin' to you



but i ain't got a hammer

and i ain't got a pencil

and i ain't got a lasso

so i'm doing it the hard way

like a post post-modern man



if i had a credit card

i'd clear me a pathway

through the deepest jungle

right to your door



if i had a camera

i'd snap away my fingers

and collect up the pictures

of you of course



but i ain't got a hot rod

and i ain't got a credit card

no chance for a camera

so i'm doing it the hard way

like a post post-modern man



well i ain't got a hammer

and i ain't got a lasso

no chance for a camera

so i'm doing it the hard way