They do it on camber sands

They do it at Waikiki

Lazing about the beach all day

At night the crickets creepy

Squinting faces at the sky

A Harold Robbins paperback

Surfers drop their boards and dry

And everybody wants a hat



But behind the Chalet

My holiday's complete

And I feel like William Tell

Maid Marion on her tiptoed feet

Pulling mussels from the shell



Shrinking in the sea so cold

Topless ladies look away

A he-man in a sunken shower

Shelters from the rain

You wish you had a motor boat

To pose around the harbor bar

And when the sun goes out to bed

You hook it up behind the car



But behind the Chalet

My holiday's complete

And I feel like William Tell

Maid Marion on her tiptoed feet

Pulling mussels from the shell



Two fat ladies window shop

Something for the mantlepiece

In for bingo all the nines

A panda for sweet little niece

The coach drivers stand about

Looking at a local map

About the boy he's gone away

Down to the next door's caravan



But behind the Chalet

My holiday's complete

And I feel like William Tell

Maid Marion on her tiptoed feet

Pulling mussels from the shell