I bet you're wondering how I knew

That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through.

Was waiting in line at the grocery store.

Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore.

And it took me by surprise I must say

When I found out the Pope was gay.



I read it in the tabloids.

Elvis Presley's doing just fine.

They put it in the tabloids.

Got a look at Fergi's boobs, my my.

Honey, honey, yeah.



You know JFK didn't really die.

They got a picture and he looks all right.

And Ross Perot's hanging out with ET.

This woman had a kid at a hundred and three.



And you could have seen it all for yourself

'Cause it's right there upon the shelf.

Oh, I read it in the tabloids.

You know Madonna used to be a boy.

I saw it in the tabloids

Right next to a cure for hemorrhoids.

Honey, honey, yeah.