Spoken)

No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent

Sunday-school teacher for me

That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever... listen boy...

A girl who trades on all that purity

Merely wants to trade my independence for her security

(Sung)

The only affirmative she will file

Refers to marching down the aisle

No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir!

For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now

I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?

I spark, I fizz, for the lady who knows what time it is

I cheer, I rave, for the virtue I'm too late to save

The sadder but wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir!

That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew

I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance

No dewy young miss who keeps resisting

All the time she keeps insisting

No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, no sir!

Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you see? Plop!

I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by

I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in

I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more 'A'

The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me

The sadder but wiser girl for me