This is a tribute to a small, yet significant following of my band's work.

My band is the Phosphenes, consisting of Tom Barbieri on guitar and backing

vocals, Bob Ramazzotto on the skins, and myself, John Durski on guitar, bass,

and lead vox. The song is not intended to offend anyone--if offends you,

go to hell!





THE SCHWANTZ SONG

-John Durski, Tom Barbieri @1990_







I was born a schwantz

an itsy bitsy schwantz

From the wombistic waters

came what she wants.



Came a schwantz

hairless and friendly

like a pole of totem

rising from my scrotum.



She wants schwantz

she wants schwantz

she'd be lying if she said

she didn't want your

want your schwantz



When I grew up

I had to wear a cup

to protect the prize

that hangs between my thighs.



If I could only know

what would make my schwantz grow

I'd be a Kong-like monster

from the depths below



She wants schwantz

she wants schwantz

she'd be lying if she said

she didn't want your

want your schwantz