Though I have been a fool for love

I have finally made my score

I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast

But she loves me the most

Even though she's a highly paid whore

She'll give head to a sheep

She can stuff three cocks in her cheek

But she comes home to me

She'll do the groom and the best man

She'll slap your ass in the back of a van

But she comes home to me

She could fuck nine guys in a row

But still have a tenth for me

And I'm the only one who gets to kiss them lips

Unless you pay an extra fifty

So mister, don't you fall in love

Cause I'm the only cat who doesn't wear a glove

Since her heart belongs to me

She has a throat that just won't quit

She can take all of it

And still have room for your balls

but she shops in the malls for me

She'll say twelve then call back and say one

But I don't care I know it's just work not fun

When she blows you, Jack

Don't you think she's not thinking of me

She'll go down on a yack, lick a horse's nutsack

But strictly for the cash

And it's only me who doesn't pay a fee

to watch her put a water bottle in her gash

(Put a water bottle in her gash)

She'll let you suck her nips till they're leakin'

But don't you dare try to go antique-ing

Cause she does that with me

Her pussy's sweet as honey

But when she moans, it's just for the money

Unless she's sittin' on me

She'll cram your asshole with a mouse

But she won't do it in our house

Tough luck, Jack

She knows that don't fly with me

She might eat your wife's box

But she won't tell ya where you left your socks

She rolled up and down your fat prick

But it was me who took her to the Meg Ryan flick

She's got a face full of nuts

And a mouth full of cocks

She's done Seal, Larry King, four New Kids on the Block,

She blew the Winnepeg Jets right after a game

But they never got to know her actual name

On your face she will piss

On your chest she might poop

But she won't prepare her famous vegetable soup

That's simply reserved..

Oh she'll bite ya, she'll spank ya

But she'll never thank you for free

Cause baby... comes home to me.

Comin' home