is it a blessin' to live or a blessin' to die?

Let me finish off this hell with no questions why

I should be happy i'm on and i'm dressed in fly but is the game changing me for

The extra pie?

If you could just look into the life i live

360 catching up on all the trife i did

Got my peoples up north trynna slice the bids

While i'm in love with a nigga with a wife and kid

Maybe if my pops aint abondend me

I wouldn't let so many niggas take advantage of me

Using me

Some even put their hands on me

I wonder what the most high god planned for me

My life line gettin' shorter when i look at my palms

Will i be notin' like my biological moms

She aint raised me so naturally i never felt the bond

At 16 got my ged never saw a prom



Chorus: i've been weak and i've been strong

Been through the fire ive'been through the storms

I try to do right and i know i do wrong

Just be happy for me when my life is gone

No more hurt and no more tears

The'll be no more pain and no more fears

No more people in my face that's

Not sincere so

Smile for me when i'm no longer here



At a younge age i let the world turn me out

Pellets and purple haze been burnt me out

A hardknock life was i learned about

Trynna ease the only thing i be concerned about

Tellin' my youth everything happen for a reason

Let them know it aint daddy's fault the moneys be leavin'

If it wasn't for the streets he'd still be breathin;

Trynna raise him by myself but i know he need him

Me and my seed used to live for mostly welfare

Only two checks a month for us both to share

I remember makin' sure that the cost was clear so i could boost us

Some mother fuckin' clothes to wear

Had to hustle cuz those food stamps just wasn't enough

Up state back to ? gotta throw me up

All this fast cash only turned the heat up

Can't afford to get knocked but who gonna feed us?



Chorus



Can't shake these thoughts of suicide

Anyone i ever loved though was close to die

Ones i trusted or though was being true, lied

A life time of tears but just a few i cried

Try to take my past and stick it up on the shelf

Will my actions stay from all the pain i felt

Just trynna make the best out the hand i delt

If i fall who can i turn to for help

Is my man with me and not my wealth

Will he be there through good and bad sickness and health

Does he want the real me or somebody else?

I've been ? just so i don't hurt myself

Now that i'm on

Most can't stand me now

But they was happy when i rocked all them hand me downs

When i need 'em funny how they can't be found

That's why the most high's my only family now



Chorus