Down on the casting couch

A star is gonna be born

A star with the stature of a Harlow

Who's doomed

And groomed to enrapture

All her co-stars, and stuntmen, the co-stars

Oh, let there be lights, action, sound

Lights, action, sound - Roll 'em!

Out in the mezzanine

On the arm of a dumb marine

Her beauty looks out like a trailer

Norman Mailer

Waits to nail her

He's under the bed

And he's waiting for her to be dead

He's out on the patio

With his polaroid and scenario

And he's armed and he's dangerously....

Close was the weather

When I was a kid

She gave me a feather from her gown

To cool me down, to cool me down

And I was the galley slave

Who lost his heart when the ship went down

Lights, action, sound

Roll 'em

I had a part in the talkies

When you were a little girl

I've taken Lassie for walkies

When she was the pup that Vaudeville threw up

And destiny lead her

Hand in paw to somewhere

In Hollywood

That's crazy, a dog up in Beverly Hills

Crazy, crazy

La, la, la, la, la.... (You better lie low