Proud and doomed As a dodo bird In a history textbook Under a puddle of drool On your desk Jesus loves you But he's alone in that sentiment So don't get too comfortable Should these symptoms persist You may cease to exist You may need to go see a doctor Obsolescense burst right out Of the birthday cake With a bright bikini And a festive grin Let the party begin You let the symptoms persist Now you cease to exist And you never did see that doctor