You don't look bad now

But you wouldn't mind looking better

Not a young lad now

Y'see more hairs on your sweater

Now don't get mad now

There's a man who's got the answer

Not just a fad now

Poly-fuse hair enhancer



He's sterling!

Sy Sperling

A regular Johnny Hairseed

In the rug club he's a giant

But still remains a client

Now don't you be defiant

Get that weave you need!



'Member what he said man

If you really want to wow her

Need a hairy head man

And not a hairy shower

Get him on the phone man

Every day a little thinner

Need to be shown man

A picture of Yul Brynner



Unfurling

Sy Sperling

A regular Johnny Hairseed

He'll improve your self-esteem

Flush the minoxodil cream

Come join the Hair Club team

Get that weave you need!



riff [Hair today, gone tomorrow]



'see you got your weave now

You're sporting a 90's fashion

And I b'lieve now

You got Baldy's teeth a-gnashin'

Lookin' awful swell now

Got a super-duper smile on

Can't even tell now

That your head is full of nylon



He's sterling!

Sy Sperling

A regular Johnny Hairseed

In the rug club he's a giant

But still remains a client

Now don't you be defiant

Get that weave you need!

Get that weave you need