{J.G. Thirwell)

The SNOT-GREEN sea - the SCROTUM-TIGHTENING sea

Cast thine bread upon the water - the SALTY water of the BRINY DEEP

Eternal backstroke in the vasty deep of the ocean of fire and brimstone

Looking at a haunted void - I'm all at sea, flat on thine back

As buoyant as the Titanic fifty years on so COME ON, Neptune, DRAG ME DOWN

Tadpole in the dead dead sea - FIREWATER! FIREWATER!

That drip drip drip is making me sickThat drip drip drip is making me sink

I'm condemned to eternal WATER TORTURE

This time the decider has shown no quarter

I just had a backyard coathanger job from the SINNER SORTER, SOUL ABORTER

Fire and water, firewater, water torture, WATER TORTURE

I could walk on water 'til I landed in strife now I'm treading water

NOW I SWIM FOR MY LIFE

My wetsuit's got a hole in it's pocket

Stuck my wet to in a live hot socket

STUCK MY WET TOE IN A LIVE HOT SOCKET, WET TOE IN A LIVE HOT SOCKET

Water everywhere can't see the horizon... can't even be WASHED UP or BEACHED

Not even a TERN to keep my eyes on... I shouldn't've practised what BEELZEBUB

preached...

I'm condemned to eternal WATER TORTURE

This time the decider has shown no quarter

I just had a backyard coathanger job from the SINNER SORTER, SOUL ABORTER

FIRE AND WATER FIREWATER WATER TORTURE WATER TORTURE!!!

Must've bought my life from a used car salesman... only one previous owner

I must've bought my life from a used car salesman... one previous owner...

a little old lady... wish she'd driven it to church on Sunday

Four flat tyres - break an AXLE one day

That drip drip drip is making me sickThat drip drip drip is making me sink

That drip drip drip is making me drinkThat drip drip drip is making me sick

I'm condemned to e