Strenuous Acquaintances

Written by Joan Osborne

From Mr. Wrong Soundtrack



I take my baby to the cornfield

I lay him down between the rows

I ask him if he really loves me

He tells me only heaven knows



If I owned a TV station

This is the message I would send:

A hundred strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend



Give me his old Montana jacket

His favorite shirt is Panama

And I can tell you where he's buried

Tell you the last thing that he saw, saw...

I am the keeper of your fetish

There is so much that you don't know

You're gonna drown in your own bathtub

You're gonna miss me when I go



If I owned that big transmitter

This is the message I would send:

A hundred strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend



And on the mornings after parties

I pick the bottles from the floor

I open every single window

I cough until my ribs are sore

Callin' out to all you vampires,

"I got molasses in my veins!

I think it's time I should be leavin'

And you can fight for my remains!"



For every word on every paper

For every dollar you will spend

A strenuous acquaintances can't meet the loss of one true friend

The loss of one true friend