All you lasses in Parnassus, swallowing swords

Shooting out fire at us heathen hordes

I was thinkin' something before I began

But then you done cut off both of my hands

Now I do my drinking from bamboo straws

Constantly kicking at tarantulas

What was I thinking, move to Baltimore?

Oh yeah, the great outdoors!



Jump into the water

Keel-hauled on the Constellation

Don't sell my belongings

'Cause you know that I'll be baaack



Remember when I told ya that I was a samurai?

Well the fact of the matter is, that was a lie

There were some other things that I'd rather not recall

Y'all can blame it all on the alcohol

But you ain't got no business criticizing me

This is my house and I'll do as I please

What was I thinking, move to Baltimore?

Oh yeah, the great outdoors!



Jump into the water

Keel-hauled on the Constellation

Don't sell my belongings

'Cause you know that I'll be baaack



Move it on over and give me a slice

If you're in the market for green zucchini

Farmers' Almanac got the largest size

Winnebago woman, whatcha cookin'?

Move it on over and give me a slice



I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics

If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets

And maybe do an interview with Larry King while flooooaaaating

I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics

If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets



Move it on over and give me a slice