May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please? *



Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?

He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed

Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase

Make it up as you go Keyser Soze

Highlights yes but don't underline `em

Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem

Life is like Marion Barry

It's not all that it's cracked up to be

Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes

Find the meaning of life is there is none

It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day

Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way"

Don't give a flying nun no don't give a Gidget

Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget

If life were picture perfect you could frame it

But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it



Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone

Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home



May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please? *



All born equal unless you're Canadian

Then halfway through decay like Uranium

You define what's death-defying

Get the most out of life or at the least die trying

Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?

Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?

Have really good times doing really bad things

`Cause the show ain't over `til the fat lady sings

Like Elton John with his candle in the wind

It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him

But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper

Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker

Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'

Don't expect a bright light no just curtains

Life is like a penis most people don't know it

But most people suck so they usually blow it



Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone

Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home



Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone

Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home



That's enough.

I said that's enough! *



* Not included in the US Release