I was heading for my mountain home

Where all the ladies' names are Joan

Where husband works back late at night

His hopes are up for trousers down

With a hostess on a business flight

Taxi in a Mercedes drive

I hope that driver's coming out alive

The garden it is Dorsettive

That lady she's so corsetive

She's got fifteen ways

To lead that boy astray

He thinks he's one and only

But that lovely

She's so lonely

She pumps him full of breakfast

And she sends him on his way



(Refro:)

What a sing-song dance

What a performance

What a cheap tent show

Oh no, no, no, no, no,... then...

The boys light up

Silently she opens the drawer

Mother's littles helper

Is coming out for more

Strategically positioned

Before the midday show

The back is arched

Those lips are parched

Repeated blow by blow

Later, at the party, all the MPs rave

'Bout the hummers she's been giving

And the money that they save

To her it is skin lotion

In promotion to

That flat in Surfer's Paradise

With the ocean view



(Refro)