"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a

prestigious college."



Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations

on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in

matriculating here in the fall."



Buffoon: "I got a snake, man!"



Dean: "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus. Be it the traditional dog,

or cat, or even the occasional reptile."



Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way

and that! It was all fucked up!"



Dean: "I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among

both students and pets here on campus."



Buffoon: "Fuckin' Shit!"



Dean: "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. So tell me a

little bit more about your background."



Buffoon: "My father's a fucking asshole, man!"



Dean: "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age

son."



Buffoon: "My mother's a piece of shit too!"



Dean: "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the

summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to

learn."



Buffoon: "My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! She had her

head way up her ass!"



Dean: "Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far

exceeds that of a local public high school."



Buffoon: "Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!"



Dean: "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success."



Buffoon: "I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"



Dean: "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a

pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of

major?"



Buffoon: "I've got a big fucking boner right now."



Dean: "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of

nervous tension. I do not take offense."



Buffoon: "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"



Dean: "That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you. We'll be

sending you our decision by the end of the month."



Buffoon: "I bet you got really hairy balls."



Dean: "Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."