The guy upstairs is such a freak,

for five years now I've had a leak.

What does he do up there?

All day long he "sleeps all day"

then he goes out and comes home

in the most intoxicated way.

As far as I can tell, he juggles bowling balls

but he's not good at it.

He moves his furniture then at six am

he pulls out the vacuum cleaner

to suck his room.

The guy downstairs is also crazy,

he spent some time in an institute.

It did him not much good.

He's off his medication

and he starts screaming,

"Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!"

According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack

and other sundry things.

But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings.

Won't let me sleep.

Please, kill that man upstairs.

If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,

won't you sweetheart?

Please, murder that man upstairs.

If you want to be my friend

you'll have to prove you mean it.

I used to think that rent control was a good idea

until I moved in here. Now I'm the only sucker

paying more than a hundred bucks a room.

And I'm surrounded by lunatics who don't

even need a moon.

But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings

won't let me sleep.

Then there's the lady across the hall

who always knows what's going on

and Machu Pichu down the stairs

who is selling crack from to door.

14B are refugees and 14A transvestite whores.

But you know who is coming home

he's falling up his drunken stairs......

...If you want to be my friend

you''ll help me get a good night sleep