"Let's meet contestant number one

He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown

Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"

Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon

Sharon, what's your question?"



"Contestant number one,

I believe first impressions last forever

So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house

And have dinner with me and my family

Tell me what you would do to make

That first impression really stick"



[Violent J]

Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it

I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it

I'd probably just show up naked like I always do

And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"

Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti

I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"

Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed

I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!

It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother

I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother

I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this

You know for only 13, she got some big tits

After that, your dad will try to jump again

And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin

After you mom does the dishes and the silverware

I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear



"Now, let's me contestant number two

He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak

Who works for the Dark Carnival

He says women call him stretch nuts

Sharon, let's hear your question"



"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions

A man who expresses himself in his own special way

Number two, if you fell in love with me

Exactly how would you let me know?"