Ellery Sneed had one great need

To do everything just right,

If things were not planned and all done by hand

He would ready himself for a fight

One afternoon while sitting alone

He came to a great realization

When it's his turn to die

Will there be enough time for plenty of planned preparation

With a few minutes thought his decision was clear

A fate most perfectly neat

Not a friend could remain to witness his death

So a terminal wine he would treat.

The plan was to hold a very large feast

Serving the wine at the end

Joining the fun would be everyone

He'd been calling his friend

Invitations went out, all guests did arrive,

The meal looked a great success,

Deciding the time he brought out the wine,

Up stood a familiar guest.

Here's a toast to our gracious host

Said Ell's friend Billingford Bluffer

Never in my life will I taste but a bite

Of a more perfectly planned out supper.