i was surprised, i was happy for a day in 1975

I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995

My brother had confessed that he was gay

It took the heat off me for a while

He stood up with a sailor friend

Made it known upon my sisters wedding day



I got married in a rush to save a kid from being deported

Now she's in love

I was so touched, i was moved to kick the crutches

From my crippled friend

She was not impressed that i cured her on the sabbath

So i went to confess

When she saw the funny side, we introduced my child bride

To whisky and gin



The priest in the booth had a photographic memory

For all he had heard

He took all of my sins and he wrote a pocket novel called

"the state i am in"

So i gave myself to god

There was a pregnant pause before he said ok

Now i spend my day turning tables round in marks & spencer's

They don't seem to mind



I gave myself to sin

I gave myself to providence

And i've been there and back again

The state that i am in



Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me

Cause i'm stupid and blind

Desperation is the devil's work, it is the folly of a boys empty mind

Now i'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

Lead me to a living end

I promised that i'd entertain my crippled friend

My crippled friend