THE SCOTSMAN

Bryon Boyers

(Dr. Demento's 20th anniversery tape)



Well a scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair

And one could tell by how he walked that he drank more than his share

He fumbled around until he could no longer keep his feet

Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh

He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by

And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye

See yon sleeping scotsman so strong and handsome built

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

She crept up on that sleeping scotsman as quiet as could be

And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see

And there behold unto their view beneath his scotish skirt

Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh

Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment than one said we must be gone

Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along

As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow

Around the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh

Around the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees

Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gasps at what he sees

And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes

Och lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize-acap