The Winner



The hulk of a man with a beer in his hand looked like a drunk old fool

And I knew if I hit him right, why I could knock him off a that stool

But everybody they said, “Watch out, hey that’s Tiger Man McCool

He’s had a whole lot of fights, and he’s always come out a winner.”

Yeah, he’s a winner



But I’d had myself about five too many and I walked up tall and proud

I faced his back and I faced the fact that he had never stooped or bowed

I said, “Tiger Man, you’re a pussycat”, and a hush fell on the crowd

I said let’s you and me go outside and see who’s a winner



Well he gripped the bar with one big hairy hand and he braced against the wall

He slowly looked up from his beer, my God that man was tall

He said, “Boy, I see you’re a scrapper, so just before you fall

I’m gonna tell you just a little, ‘bout what it means to be a winner.”



He said, “Now you see these bright white smiling teeth, you know they ain’t my own

Mine rolled away like Chiclets down the street in San Antone

But I left that person, cursin’, nursin’ seven broken bones

And he, uh, only broke, uh, three of mine

That makes me the winner



He said, “Now behind this grin I got steel pins, that holds my jaw in place

A trophy of my most successful motorcycle race

And each morning when I wake and touch this scar across my face

It reminds me of all I got by being a winner



Now this broken back was a dyin’ act of a handsome Harry Clay

That sticky Cincinnati night I stole his wife away

But that woman she gets uglier, and she gets meaner every day

But I got her, boy, and that make me a winner



He said, “You gotta speak loud when you challenge me, son

“Cause it’s hard for me to hear

With this twisted neck and these migraine pains

And this big old cauliflower ear

And if it wasn’t for this glass eye of mine, why I’d shed a happy tear

To think of all your gonna get by being a winner



I got ar-th-rit-ic elbows, son I got dislocated knees

From picking fights with thunderstorms and chargin’ into trees

And my nose’s been broken so often, I might lose it if I sneeze

And son, you say you still wanna be a winner?



Now you remind me of my younger days with your knuckles a-clenchin’ white

But boy, I’m gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night

And if there’s somethin’ that you gotta gain or prove

By winning some silly fight

Well, OK, I quit, I lose, you’re the winner



Oh, I stumbled from that barroom, not so tall and not so proud

And behind me I still hear the hoots and laughter of the crowd

But my eyes still see and my nose still works

And my teeth are still in my mouth

And you know, I guess that makes me the winner