Fourteen years, thirty minutes, fifteen seconds,

I've held this grudge

Eleven songs, four full journals, thoughts of punishments

I've expanded

Not in contact, not unmet

Such communication, telepathic

You've been vilified

Used as fodder

You deserve a piece of every record.



But who's it hurting now?

Who's the one that's stuck?

Who's it torturing now?

With an empty knot in her stomach.



I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean state and released.

I wanna forgive for the both of us



I come abandoned house

Dusty cupboard, furniture stll intact

if I visit it now

Will I simply relieve it

Somehow, into it us.



But who's still waking now?

Who's tired of her own voice?

Who's weighing down with no gift from time of said healing?



I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean state and released.

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

This weight of my shoulders will rise



Here I sit much determined

Ever real equipped to draw this curtain

How this has entertained, validated and has served me well

ever the victim



But who's done whining now?

Who's ready to put down?

This load I carried longer than I had cared to remember



I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be sof