Dum diti dum dang dang di dum

2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum

1 bum said look jack i'm the shit

Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick

My mothers crazy i think she sniffs glue

She never liked me and i know that's true

Kicked me out the crib becuz i got a tattoo

No one loves me and no one cares

And all i ever get is funny stares

I can't help it if i'm nothin but a wino

So i hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos

Stealin' bottles of booze outta a & p

I know a girl at denny's and i always eat free

Got the same birthdate as thomas crapper

For christmas i bought the old man the clapper

I'm so dapper u can call me dan

But they call me round eye when i'm chilin in japan

Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain't no dike

But fuck that ho and let me tell ya what i like

I like bean burritos from taco bell

I like trippin on acid with dick vitale

My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't clashin'

I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fashion

Took too many many trip and now i can's stop trippin

My mellow d. killed a rat in the kitchen

U think u toke tuff i'd disagree

Nobody blows more doobs than richard d.

I get ill on hoes who i know ain't fertile

I'm a real jet setter like cecil turtle

I'm down with bill bands so fuck joe glover

And while i'm at it muther fuck fat ass sally struthers

U look fine girl kinda undercover

But i can't fuck ya cuz you look like my mother

I said dang digee dang di dang dang

It ain't eric estrada or kool and the gang

U know i hand in the clem chillin on the strip

With all them mother fuckers who slang that shit

U know i'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster

U sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"

Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me

But fuck it cuz i know "somebody up there likes me."

Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'


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