1st verse:]

Benjamin Manner played a grand piano

And he cert'nly played it fine

Played the piano all the time

Like a reg'lar Rubinstein

Sunday he called around to see Miss Lucy Brown

And said "My darling pet

I have found a new way to make love

That hasn't been discovered yet

Won't you let me show you how?"

But Miss Lucy cried "not now":



[chorus:]

Try it on your piano grand

I don't care to understand

B or I flat, C or Y flat

Try it hon' but not in my flat

While I don't doubt that what you say is true

I'm not taking chances with some love that's new

So Mister Manner, try it on your piano

But you can't try it on me



[2nd verse:]

Benjamin Manner sold his grand piano

And became a doctor fair

One who cures your pain and care

He was known most ev'rywhere

Lucy took sick one day, he called around to say

"I've brought with me a pill

It's a new discovery of my own

That surely ought to cure or kill

It has never yet been tried"

But Miss Lucy loudly cried:



[2nd chorus:]

Try it on your piano grand

I don't care to understand

B or I flat

C or Y flat

Try it hon' but not in my flat

Give me Peruna for my ev'ry pain

For he who takes that will live to take again

So try your brand up on a baby grand

Because you can't try it on me