[Written for, but not used in, the show.]



It's smart to be thrifty when times are so bad

Let's be patriotic, but let's not go mad

We must cheer the colors we prize

So here's what I strongly advise



We'll just have two cheers instead of three

For the land of the brave and the free



Instead of three cheers, we'll just have two

For the red and the white and the blue



So when we cheer the stars and stripes here's what we'll do

We'll cheer the red and cheer the white but not the blue



And just have two cheers instead of three

For the land of the brave and the free





[patter:]

Why give them three cheers when two will more than do?

If there must be cheers than let there just be two

And the speeches that you make to Uncle Sam

Cut 'em down to "Unaccustomed as I am..."