When I saw you at the grocery store

you were sharing a shopping cart with her

and I couldn't turn and run away

I didn't know what to say

you introduced us for the first time

and I had to look her in the eye

but you could not imagine my surprise



can't you see you're leaving me for an ugly girl

does she talk about politics and all the stuff that used to make me sick

does she smoke cigars and stay up late oh she's so great

does she tell you what you want to hear

and I bet that she can grow a beard

I'd feel better thinking you were queer

it's not fair I can't compare to an ugly girl



ha ha ha the jokes on me

I feel jealous and I feel mean

is she so nice that it makes up for her face there's no way

do you have to keep your eyes closed

do you have to keep the lights down low

oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold can't you see

you're leaving me for an ugly girl