Well, I went to see my Doctor,

I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills!

The rent's all spent,

The truck's got a dent,

And I think I'm gettin' the chills

From being forced to sleep alone,

You see this house just ain't no home,

I can't afford no kids,

My life is on the skids,

'Cause my woman says

"Leave me alone,

Unless you get a vasectomy!

You ought to get a vasectomy!

Just one little male alteration

Can keep us from another altercation!

Get a vasectomy!

You ought to get a vasectomy!

Oh what a vas deferens there could be!"



Well, the next thing I know,

I'm laying on a table

With a light shinin' in my eyes!

They strapped my wrists,

They strapped my ankles,

And they double-strapped my thighs!



The nurses were a gigglin'

And I was a wigglin',

Most uncomfortably,

When the Doc walked in,

With a perverted grin,

And here's what he said to me:



"It only hurts

For a little while,

That's what they tell me,

That's what they say!"



Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!



Well, it's two weeks later,

And I feel a little better,

My mind is more at ease.

The rent's still spent,

The truck's got a dent,

But my woman's no longer a tease!



And even down at the office,

There is a lot more interest in me,

The girls all grin when I walk in!

And brother, they mean to please

A man with a vasectomy,

You ought to get a vasectomy!

Like a sun-kissed orange,

I've been squeezed,

'Cause its all juice and there's no seed!



Well, a vasedctomy!

You ought to get a vasectomy!

Oh what a vas deferens!

It's beginnin' to make a little sense!

Oh what a vas deferens there could...'



Here is the part that I like the most,

It takes the danger out of bein' close!



Oh what a vas deferens there could..



They snip those little suckers right in two

And clamp 'em of with super-glue!



Oh what a vas deferens there could be!