[Chorus:]

Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler

Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's

Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler

Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a

Whaler could have been a Tailor,

He turned out to be Norman Mailer

Whoaaoo

He stepped back and he smoked a joint

Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point

Mommy was a hamster,

Daddy was a jailer

Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure

[chorus]

He's so glad he's Vlad

When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks

But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks

When Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned

But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned

Oh, how he learned

He learned, they burned and burned and burned

Rotisseries of corpses turned

He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad