You could close down Moe's or the Quick-E-Mart, and nobody would care.

But the heart and soul of Springfield's in our Maison Derriere!

We're the sauce on your cake. we're the cheese in your cake.

We put the spring in Springfield!

We're the lace on your night gown, the point after touchdown.

Yes we put the spring in Springfield!

We're that little extra spice that makes existance extra nice;

a giddy little thrill at a reasonable price.

Our only major quarrel's with your total lack of morals.

Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad; they seem to entertain your dad!

The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguini;

Yes we put the (boing!) in Springfield!

We remember our first visit; the service was exquisite.

Why Joseph I had no idea!

Come on now you were working here!

Without it, we'd have had no fun since March of 1961!

To shut them down now would be twisted,

we just heard this place existed!

The highlights in your hair-do, the extra arms on Vishnu!

So don't take the (boing!) We won't take the (slide whistle)

Yes lets keep the (crash) in Springfield!