It feels like I've been alone too long

With no girls around, my mind was wondering

Thinking of some way to release it

I looked in the kitchen, saw some Crisco oil

And that's when my blood started to boil, oh oh yeh.



Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, uh-oh

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, what did I just do?



No one wanted to be with me

Had to make my dream come true

I wanted to hold something

I didn't know what to do.

It seemed like a good idea

And no one else was around

I stuck my weenie in a bottle,

And now I can't get it out.



(I stuck my weenie in a bottle today

got it stuck up in there all the way, yeah.

I stuck my weenie in a bottle oh no,

I can't, I can't, someone come help me out.)



It's turning purple, all the feelings gone

Now where did I put that freaking phone

Dialing 911



Please pick up, I'm in a lot of pain

This was supposed to feel good

Now I'm suffering, oh please answer...

(Denver 911- what is your emergency?)



Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (hello)

Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, (sir, what seems to be the problem?)



No one wanted to be with me

Had to make my dream come true

I wanted to hold something

I didn't know what to do...(go on)

It seemed like a good idea

And no one else was around

I stuck my weenie in a bottle,

And now I can't get it out.



(You stuck your weenie in a bottle, oh my

you must feel really lonely, guy.

You stuck your weenie in a bottle, that's the first

Don't worry sir, we're sending somebody out.)



(No one wanted to be with him

Had to make his dream come true

He wanted to hold something)

I didn't know what to do.



(It seemed like a good idea

And no one else was around

He stuck his weenie in a bottle)

And now I can't get it out.



Stuck my weenie in a bottle today

Now, now, now I can't get it out