Standin' in the runway

Wavin' at the plane

There goes everything you own

You called home collect

And they didn't know your name

Starin' at the telephone





You thought he was a doctor

Now he says he's not

But the noices seem to tell for sure

And according to the symptoms

It isn't all you got

A shame they haven't found a cure





Didn't know the reason

You start to feel the rub

You know it isn't easy

Well, welcome to the club

Well, you thought they'd take it lightly





They're actin' kinda rash

Caught you in a loadin' zone

So they smile very politely

Relieved you of your cash

Suddenly you're all alone





You play the double agent

You bug eachother's phone

You got the place surrounded

There ain't nobody home





It's gettin' hard to please 'em

You start to feel the rub

You know it isn't easy

Well, welcome to the club

Come on and join us in the club