What do you want from life

To kidnap an heiress and threaten her with a knife

What do you want from life

To get cable TV and watch it every night

There you sit a lump in your chair

Where do you sleep

and what do you wear

when you're sleeping

What do you want from life

an Indian guru to show you the inner light

What do you want from life

a meaningless love affair

with a girl that you met tonight

How can you tell when you're doin' alright

Does your bank account swell

While you're dreaming at night

How do you know when you're really in love

Do violins play when you're touching the one

That you're loving



What do you want from life

Someone to love and somebody you can trust

What do you want from life

to try and be happy

While you do the nasty things you must





What do you want from life

What do you want from life

What do you want from life

What do you want from life



Well you can't have that,

but if you're an American citizen

you are entitled to:

a heated kidney shaped pool,

a microwave oven (don't watch the food cook,)

a dynagym, I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,

a king size titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,

a foolproof plan

and an airtight alibi,

real simulated indian jewelry,

a Gucci shoetree,

a years supply of antibiotics,

a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth,

and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,

a beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick,

Rosemary's baby!

a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,

a new Matador,

a new mastadon,

a Maverick,

a Mustang,

a Montego,

a Merc Montclaire,

a Mark 4,

A meteor,

A Mercedes,

An MG,

or a Malibu,

a Mork Moriarty,

a Masarati,

a Mack truck,

a Mazda,

a new Monza,

or a Moped,

a Winnebago,

hell, a herd of Winnebagos,

we're givin' 'em away,

or how about a MacCullough chain saw,

a Las Vegas wedding,

a Mexican divorce,

a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee cup,

or a baby's arm holding an apple.





Words and music: Spooner, Evans

Copyright 1975 Pseudo Songs and Swiveltone Music