Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time

He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine



Nobody has ever seen him, I'm the only one

Seemingly I must be mad, Insanity is fun

If that's the way it's done



Doctors say he just a figment of my twisted mind

If they can't see my Whiskey Man they must be going blind



Two men dressed in white collected me two days ago

They said there's only room for one and Whiskey Man can't go



Whiskey Man will waste away if he's left on his own

I can't even ring him 'cause he isn't on the phone

Hasn't got a home



Life is very gloomy in my little padded cell

It's a shame there wasn't room for Whiskey Man as well



Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time

He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine

Just fine