Are those numchucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl

When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World

I was sweating like a vegetable inside of a wok

I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok

Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice

Should I talk about Mothra M*A*S*H or shrimp-fried rice?

I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line I threw

Just thirty seconds over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo

I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee

I told he every Soon Yi needs a little Woody

She said for all the tea in China my vagina's not free

But my love will linger longer than the Ming Dynasty

I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry

I knew she needed a way to stay legally within the country

She was made in Taiwan I said I'm O.K. with that

Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat

Chinky chinky bang bang I love you

Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too

In Japan the hand is used as a knife

In Japan a man's wife's hand job than can cost him his life

But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu

I'll shampoo her Foo Man Chu with Lo Hung Wang Goo

Cause I ride my slant-eyed slope like a brand new Kawasaki

Oh me chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki

Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb

I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam

She's like an oriental rug cause I lay her where I please

Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on her knees

I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese

First I'll have the poo-poo platter than some tuna sushi

She'll be screaming like Godzilla and kickin' like Jackie Chan