There's a few things I haven't told you

And before you hear them from someone else

To clear up misconceptions

I'd rather tell you myself

There was a time



I rode a roller coaster

From Coney Island to Key West

I held on with one finger

So the other ten could rest

It may be hard to believe

Hard to comprehend

But baby, you didn't know me when



I played third chair trombone

In an out-of-work polka band

We looked for gigs on ships

In countries that had no land

It may be hard to believe

We hit the top ten

But baby, you didn't know me when



If you want a resume I'll put it in writing

It's only good for a day and the contents are frightening



I gave long-winded speeches

I was a head-of-state

I wrote an endless novel

Called See Jane Love And Hate

It may be hard to believe

I'm reticent

But baby, you didn't know me when