Wooo

(spoken)

You know a man does have to eat him somethin'



I love candy bars...eat them all the time

My combo meal's are super-sized

And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs

mmmm



My cholesterol is off the chart

I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm

Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long

My nickname in school was double wide

Cause my momma fried...



Now I weigh 270 somethin'

Always huffin and puffin

Lay around the house all day

No wonder I can't lose no weight

See that pizza on the TV

Oh man don't it look cheesy

You know they deliver here for nothin'

That's why I weigh 270 somethin'



My insurance said that they'd co-pay

I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made

Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off

He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube

I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon

When I came to in the recovery room

Wuddn't much left of me

When he removed the bandages from my thighs

I couldn't believe my eyes



Now I weigh 180 somethin'

Didn't have to do much of nothin'

I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme

To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants

Now everyone who sees me

Can't believe that I'm so skinny

My body fat is nearly nothin'

Ha ha

Now that I weigh 180 somethin'



WOOO



Ha Ha



Now I date a model with a GED

But do you think she'd be with me

I wonder (I wonder)

If I (If I)



Still weighed...270 somethin'

Stuffin down blueberry muffins

Onion rings and cans of SPAM

That's how I got so fat

Now everyone who sees me

Can't believe that I'm so skinny

I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin'

Back when I weighed 270 somethin'



Now I weigh 180 somethin'



(spoken)

Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26

None of y'all's business how much I weigh

Huh huh...


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