Thanks to dj.flash@pobox.com for these lyrics.



[Ice-T]

Yeah, last year a lot of motherfuckers asked me

why I didn't do no old sex nasty shit

But this year I went down to Miami and got my nigga from 2 Live

Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the motherfuckin nigga)

Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems

All these niggaz is havin girl problem, Marq

(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)

Lemme tell you what time is it...



I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West

Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest

I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South

A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth

I got a bitch with hair, a bitch with none

A bitch with a knife, a bitch with a gun

A bitch with a ass big as a TV set

And there's a bitch over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get

But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though

No sweat to a vet; I'll slam a sista though, word

Ice in the whole damn herd

I fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the curve

I got a bitch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link

who likes to fuck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink

Got a bitch with tits, a bitch with ass

A bitch with none, but hey I give her a pass

And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily

And they love me back - that's why they stay with me

So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son

Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit it...

Nah a bitch ain't one



[Ice-T]

I got a bitch that's old, a bitch that's new

A bitch who love velvet in the colors blue

I got a bitch who's fat, a bitch who's built

A bitch who all her titties give out powdered milk

I got a bitch who's funny, a bitch who ain't

A bitch who can sing, a bitch who cain't

A bitch who loves fuckin on a airplane..

I even got a bitch off +Soul Train+

I got a bitch who rolls a rag-top Benz..

Long ends

I got a bitch who's broke as a bum..

But she's the most fun

I got a bitch who play piano, a bitch who don't

A bitch who dances naked, a bitch who won't

A bitch who's short, a bitch who's tall

A bitch who burns my pager with priority calls

And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily

And they love me back - that's why they stay with me

So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son

Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me



Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show

these motherfuckers all the over the world; the 2 Live style

of how the bitches treat a motherfuckin fly nigga like you



[Brother Marquis]

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one of them

I don't trip on hos, cause I don't need none of them

Pussy's the temptation, dick's the persuasion

All hos suck cock nigga how you play 'em?

That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em

Stick dick in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em

The nigga the one-nighter, the bitch exciter

I only love my hos when I'm goin up inside her

Problem number one is gettin money

I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey

So don't expect nuttin cause I ain't offerin

I go hard on my bitches, cause I'm never never softenin

Puttin the demand on 'em, fuck 'em and scram on 'em

The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em

So fuck how you feel, you fuckin cheap thrill

I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill

Gettin pussy's just another expense

If pussy pays the bills then dick pays the rent

I only need a ho for one thing and that's to cum

I've got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!



[Ice-T]

Ha! Yo Marquis my motherfucker you got problems man?

(A bitch ain't one) Aww shit!

Now let me tell you how to do this shit



[M] I got a bitch that loves to G

[I] She'll fuck you right after she fucks me

[M] I got a bitch who loves both

[I] I got a bitch who loves handcuffs and ropes

[I] I got a bitch that's fast, a bitch that's slow

[M] A bitch that's a virgin and a bitch that's a ho

[I] A bitch that lies

[M] A bitch that's true

[I] A bitch who's a man BECAUSE THEY'RE "Bitches 2"

[I] I got a bitch that's cool

[M] A bitch that's hot

[I] A bitch who loves rap, a bitch who loves rock

[I] A bitch who's lost and one who knows where it's at

[I] She gets up under me and purrs like a cat

[M] I got a bitch that runs, I got a bitch that walks

[M] I got a bitch that yells, I got a bitch who talks

[I] I got a bitch that's dirty, got a bitch that's neat

[I] I got a super fine bitch that I knocked in the swap meet



[Ice-T]

And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily

And they love me back - that's why they stay with me

So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me...

No a bitch ain't one..

(Huh, you know a bitch ain't one!)



[Ice-T]

Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my motherfuckin rent Marquis

But a bitch ain't one



[Brother Marquis]

Man you got yourself nothin man

Fuck them raggedy stank-ass hos nigga



[Ice-T]

A bitch ain't one

I got a problems stayin out here on these streets

with the police trying to take a nigga out, y'know?

But a bitch ain't one

Got problems with motherfuckers.. buyin my records

But a bitch ain't one



[Brother Marquis]

Fuck 'em all, nigga fuck them motherfuckers



[Ice-T]

Youknahmsayin? A bitch ain't one

Got problems man



[Brother Marquis]

All them motherfuckers can kiss my motherfuckin ass.. f'real



[Ice-T]

Really, niggaz worryin about bitches

They better, they better find somethin else to worry about

{*fades out*}