Uh huh ... extra cheese

Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me



Pizza party at your house

I went just to check it out

Nineteen extra larges

What a shame

No one came



Just us eatin' all alone

You said, "Take the pizza home"

"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"

So then I faced



Pizza all day

And every day

This cheese 'round the clock

Is gettin' me blocked

And I sure don't care

For irregularity



Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?

'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated

In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain

And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain

Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?

No no no



I was feelin' pretty down

'Till my girlfriend came around

We're just so alike in every way

I gotta say



In fact, I just thought I might

Pop the question there that night

I was kissing her so tenderly

But woe is me



Who would have guessed

Her family crest

I'd suddely spy

Tattooed on her thigh

And son-of-a-gun

It's just like the one on me



Tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both related?

Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated

What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose

And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes

And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

No no no no no no no

No no no no no no no

No no no no no



I had so much on my mind

I thought maybe I'd unwind

Try out that new roller coaster ride

And the guide



Said not to stand

But that's a demand

That I couldn't meet

I got on my feet

And stood up instead

And knocked off my head, you see



Tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?

This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it

Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore

I can't belch or yodel anymore

Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated



Oh no

Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)

I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated

What a bummer

Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze

But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now

Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated

No no no