Today is not a good day for me, for today I found out I was mad,

as I have discovered this in the last 45 minutes my madness is

still new, fresh in my mind so to say, so I can understand it

more. It has come to my attention that over the past year and a

half I have acquired a condition known as acute paranoid

schizophrenia in relation to everyone and everything I did. It

gradually worsened through the year to this point of realisation

that I have a twin mind.



And in the intervening time I consumed with a passion various

things to keep the main side happy, and as the main side grew

hungrier quicker, and if it wasn't fed each time, it began to

eat the other.



Distrust of everything, it ran in the family, at least on my

mothers side. There was too much trust in the other. I am it's

eldest offspring and I too have distrust too much. That's why I

don't want children. Each person has their own tragedy, mine as

I found out was this fear of my old lady turning into the very

same old lady that I despised when I grew up.



But you fall in love and is it possible to fall in love with

every woman you meet, you just stand there with your mouth open,

thinking wishing I never existed. But this is my time and the

girl I just met should be here 'cause here was a woman who held

me and did not copy my every move, she just let it happen, never

asked, but I answered for I myself am heaven and hell.



Today is not a day for me

Today is not for me