(chorus) - i've got large genitals, that i show to elderly women, at the

cost of 5 dollars a head. i've got large genitals, bigger than your

mother's, and i just showed them to a guy named Fred.

oh lord. it's hard to be blessed like this: large testicles, and a large

penis. who could ask for anything more? they're lyin' when they say size

doesn't matter. imagine how hard it is on my bladder. i can't go sideways

through my front door.

(chorus)

there's a million uses for my dick. i whip it out, and locks i can pick.

like a swiss army knife only bigger. it likes a martini with a twist of

lime. it's a philanthropist, and it fights crime. did you know that george

burke is a wigger?

(chorus)