(Emily Kaitz)

My Daddy was a man of letters

My Mama was a head of state

And when they got their chromosomes together

They gave me all of their recessive traits

I'm an embarrassment to evolution

My disposition is unstable and cruel

My blood's a catastrophic blend

'Cause I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool

My IQ is a negative number

I've got a sense of humor no one can stand

And my development was seriously encumbered

By playing music with the Lounge Lizards band

I'm a social director's nightmare

At dinner parties I just babble and drool

It's not easy making friends

When you're from the shallow end of the gene pool

Chorus:

I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool

My x-rays make the doctors laugh

When they tried to chart my EEG waves

Well I wasn't even on the graph

Biological research is booming

They're making breakthroughs like you wouldn't believe

They say genetic engineering in humans

Will someday soon be a reality

I'm gonna get me a DNA transplant

They're gonna rearrange my molecules

Some natural laws will have to bend

To get me from the shallow end of the gene pool