You are the girl

Somebody invented

In a grim little office

On Madison Ave.





They were specific

They made you terrific:

Red lips;

Blue eyes;

Blonde hair;

Un-wise --

You're All-American,

And, darling, they said so





YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,

WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?

YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,

WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?

SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BRAIN,

LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:

ANY KIND OF PAIN

IS NEVER A MAYBE





Her head's full of bubbles;

Her nose is petite!

She looks like she never

Gets nothin' to eat!





She dines with actors,

'N Wall Street characters:

Dull talk;

Nice clothes --

See her?

She blows --

She's so important

'Cause he gets to do talk shows --





AND SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,

WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?

SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,

WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?

SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A NAME,

LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:

ANY KIND OF PAIN

IS PROBABLY HER HOBBY





She has moves up now;

She's come a long way --

They give her bunches

Of words she can say!





When she's in a bold mood,

"Confinement Loaf" sounds good --

That's right,

She's wrong!

Let's end

Her song





(It seems she's everywhere

We just can't escape her --

Is this a miracle of pure evolution?

And all the yuppie boys, they dream they will rape her --

She brings the 80's

To a thrilling conclusion!)





YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS TAME AS ME,

ISN'T SHE TENDER?

YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS LAME AS ME,

LET US REMEMBER,

SHE GETS ONLY HALF THE BLAME

ONLY HALF THE BLAME

ONLY HALF THE BLAME

UNLESS WE EXTEND HER