Arnie works the cyclone at the state fair

Says he's in it for the chicks

Smokes about two packs of cigarettes each day

And he drinks just like a fish

Arnie never talks of family

And he never found a wife

He sleeps with the bearded lady

So does the guy that swallows knives



Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him

Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him

Oh and I, I'm quite a lot like him-I swear



Arnie talks as if someday he'll leave

If the right thing comes along

A distant dream as a mercenary marine

Is a dream that's long gone



My eyes, my eyes they're not like his

Maybe a little

God, I wish my eyes were just like his



Arnie's on the road eight months each year

Winters down south where it's warm

He's in a trailer park in Sarasota

Getting drunk with the clowns