B or not a B?

That is the question.

Whether 'tis the second letter of the alphabet, or some other merry letter.

(He raises the letter B and gazes upon it)

B or not a B?

This letter doth have a stiff, straight back.

And the word "back" begineth with B!

B or not a B?

This letter doth have two bumps in the front.

And I reckon the word "bump" begineth with B!

Zoons, the word "begineth" begineth with B!

If "begineth" be a word.

Now, by my sword, I declare, B or not a B, 'tis B!

Good night, sweet B.

(He kisses the lucky letter B!)