Charlie Brissette/Tom Armbruster)



REN: Stimpy, what's all that racket about?

STIMPY: I'm tap dancing Ren. Pretty good, huh?

REN: It just sounds like noise to me. And you look even more stupid than

usual.

STIMPY: Oh pshaw. Tap dancing is fun Ren. Why don't you join me?

REN: Ohhh nooo! I'm no eediot.

STIMPY: Come on...No one will ever see you.

REN: No way!

STIMPY: Just put on these shoes and move your feet...

REN: Back off man! I can do it.

STIMPY: Now, don't you feel better?

REN: Hey! This is fun! You're right Stiimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so

mean to you.

STIMPY: Think nothing of it buddy!

REN: Pal!



STIMPY:

It's really great-to havea chum

Who's kind and caring and lost of fun

He slaps me around when I feel blue

Only a pal would do that for you

His name is Ren and when it comes to a friend

No one is better



Your turn pal.



REN: O.K. Buddddd...(scream) You eediot, if you're going to tap dance do it on

your own two feet.

STIMPY: Whoops.



REN:

He's really fat but I admit

He's not so dumb for an eediot

I hate the smell of his litter box

ANd when he fills with glue my stay-put socks

He's lost his mind, but when I'm in a bid

He's better than no one!



REN: Would you comb my hair?

STIMPY: With glee!

REN: Would you polish my toes?

STIMPY: For free!

REN: Would you shave my tongue?

STIMPY: Whoopee!

REN & STIMPY: You're the friend for me!



REN:

My friend to the end-which I hope is soon

Has a head full of air like a red balloon

STIMPY:

A balloon head, wow! what a great thing to be

You always say the nicest things to me.

REN: You're a fool

STIMPY: But I think you're cool

No one is better!



STIMPY: Would you tell me a story?

REN: No way!

STIMPY: Would you pick my nose?

REN: For pay!

STIMPY: Would you scratch my back?

REN: No!

STIMPY: Pluck my brows?

REN: No!

STIMPY: Clean my box?

REN: Erghhhh!

STIMPY: Lick my fur?

REN: Alright Stimpy! That's it! I've had enough of your stupid questions!

The anser is no! No, I tell you. A thousand times nooooooo!

STIMPY: Oh, just asking!



REN: We're opposites by nature

STIMPY: He's a dog and I'm a cat-I think

REN: But put us both together

STIMPY: And we're the perfect match

I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do!

REN: Somebody's got to think for you

You may be a dud, but when I need a bud

You're better than no one!

STIMPY: No one is better!

REN: You're better than...

STIMPY: No one is...

REN: Better than...

STIMPY: No one...

REN & STIMPY: No one is better.

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