[Harlettes:] This is the story of a young girl

who was the hippest chick in town.

They call her Big Noise from Winettka.

Miss Birdie's sure to get around.

Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,

stole each fellow's heart and then

Big Noise flew in from Winnetka,

Big Noise flew right out again.

Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!

Stop! Look! Listen! Here comes the Big Noise!



[Bette:] I am the one they call the Big Noise.

I'm looking fine and feeling sharp.

I just flew in from Winnetka, don't you know?

I'm gonna blow this joint apart!



I got my high heels! I don't need no wheels!

My footwork is an art!

You know the joint is jumpin',

my heart is pumpin',

and this is just the start!

Whoa! I was a big noise from Winnetka,

I'll be a big noise in your heart!

Whooooa!



[Harlettes:] Tempting when she's walkin',

tempting when she's talkin'!

Listen to her squakin'!

There she goes 'round again,

up and then down again,

in and then out, ooooh, bop!



"Hi! Welcome to another foul evening with the Divine Miss M!

"After many a summer dies the swan,"

but not when their stuck in a turkey as big as this one!

Watch us as we scratch and claw out hour

upon the stage in yet another feeble-minded attempt

to turn chicken shit in to chicken salad.

Make no mistake about it, eggs will be laid tonight!

Ain't that right girls? Oh, my girls.

My three favorite schochkies on the breakfront of life.

I'll never forget the first time I found these girls,

selling their papayas on 42nd Street. So flushed, so filthy.

The astonishing verbal abuse they heaped upon me made me certain

we were