{*church bells ring in background*}

In today's music news: the ever controversial Tupac Shakur has

just released another album under the alias Makaveli.

Music insiders are running wild trying to rearrange other artist

street dates, in fear of a wipeout in retail interchart movement.

Although no one knows the exact cause of the new album;

resources tell me a number of less fortunate rappers

have joined together in conspiracy to assassinate the character

of not only Mr. Shakur, but of Death Row Records as well.

Nas, the alleged ring leader of it, is furious at Tupac

excuse me Makaveli's verbal assault

on Mobb Sleep, Notorius P.I.G., and several other New York rappers

Jay-Z, from