[includes a quote from Jingle Bells (James Pierpont)]



[Jay Anderson string bass

Chad Wackerman drums]



Harry:

(to THING-FISH)



Anything you say, master! Take me, I'm yours!



Rhonda:

(Broadway-style fake singing)



Jingle bells, Jingle bells,

Jingle all the way!

Oh, what fun it is to ride

To Chicago every day, oh . . .



Thing-Fish:



Oooh, lawd! Lookit you, boy! Chain thoo de nipples 'n evvy goddam thing! You a sick white muthafucker, ain'tcha?



Rhonda:



Bells on bob-tail ring,

Making spirits bright!

Oh, what fun it is to ride

To Chicago every night, oh . . .



Harry:



For Chrissake, RHONDA! Have you no SHAME?



Thing-Fish:



Y'all make up y'mind yet, 'bouts de MAMMY o' yo' dreams?



Harry:



You bet! I've waited ALL MY LIFE for this moment! My heart is fluttering! If only I could submit myself on approval, for a limited time only . . . to . . . to that nasty little rubber MAMMY on your knee . . .



Thing-Fish:



SISTER OB'DEWLLA 'X'? De mys'try SISTER? Y'all wants t'party hearty with de min'yature rubber MAMMY wit de string out de back? Yow! Dintcha get 'nuff 'buse fum de other bitch when y'was livin' in de card-bo'd hut?



Rhonda:



HARRY . . . HARRY . . . hey! HARRY! Fucking wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! I want a DIVORCE, HARRY!



Harry:



Not now, dearest, PLEASE! This is serious! Little MAMMY, what'll it be? Hips or lips?



Rhonda:



You're a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! A fucking WOR-R-R-R-M-M-M-M-MMMMMMMMMMM! These are my TITS, HARRY! I have TITS! Look! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY WONDERFUL TITS, YOU FUCKING WOR-R-R-R-R-MMMMMMMM! I'm going to