O a comical genius was thinking one day

How he'd jack up his job and receive handy pay

He did not like begging and work was too hard

So he got a bright notion to join up the guard

Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day



Well he went up to Dublin, to the depot went in

Got a new suit of blue as bright as new pins

They drilt him, they drilt him, they drilt him so hard

The old sergeant proclaimed him a full fledged guard

Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day



He was stationed somewhere near the town of Athy

On the roads of the district he kept a close eye

The girls they admired him as all brassers do

Fell in love with the guard and his new suit of blue

Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day



Well the girls they would wink and they'd nod as he passed

O but this itchy guard had his eye on one lass

And this little colleen, she being a die-hard

She made it quite clear that she wanted no guard

Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day



Well one time while on duty on a cold winter's night

Sure he caught her out cycling without any light

Where's your light, miss? says he; for an answer says she

It's next to me liver, where you'll never be

Diddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day